Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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