Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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