So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
