My brain says no but my pants say off.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
