He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
