We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it because I queefed?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
