I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
