Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
