come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Two words: nipple clamps
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