Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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