So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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