I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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