After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
