Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
