Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
