at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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