Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize