Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
