In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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