So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
