For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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