I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
