when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
