he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
