Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
