you guys were way drunker than both of me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
