why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
