hotel room ftw
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
