Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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