I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
