Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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