I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
