Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
