maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
