I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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