the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
