its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That was an excessively violent trivia night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
