I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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