She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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