i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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