Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
