On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
