i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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