Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
