I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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