I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
