hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
