the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
