I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
