are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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