Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
