24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
